There are lots of things that software programs do well. Database applications, modeling, simulation, animation, and mapping come to mind. What about analyzing writing? It would seem an unlikely task, given that current programs can’t even do the mundane task of spell checking with any degree of finesse.
Enter the Arc Angel story analysis software, a product currently under development by engineers at Zirdland. According to the website zirdland.com, Arc Angel will help authors hone their skills and help agents and publishers quickly differentiate between promising works and drivel. My first thought was, “This is fascinating! What sorts of algorithms do they use?” My second thought was, “Great— now my work can get rejected twice as fast! No more waiting six to eight weeks for that diddly-dang form letter!”
Nevertheless, my interest was piqued, so I went to zirdland.com just in time to discover that they were looking for manuscripts to use for beta testing. Arc Angel would analyze the submissions and the winner (as determined by Arc Angel) would get PR and some prize money. The first draft of my novel was in pretty good shape (or so I thought at the time), so I submitted it. It placed somewhere around thirtieth out of some unknown number of submissions. Knowing what I know about software (which is a fair amount) and what I know about writing (which is substantially less), it was difficult to decide whether I should feel pride or be insulted by my ranking.
Whenever I walk into the local bookstore, I feel like I am drowning in a sea of books, all screaming “Buy me! Please, pluuuuhhheeezee!” For any given book, what are the odds that I will pick it up? And of the ones I pick up, what are the odds I will buy it? I mean, really, just who the hell do I think I am, thinking anyone could possibly be interested in anything I have to say?
I’ve only let a handful of people read my first draft. Some have flattered me with high praise. A few others have given my work, shall I say, a more tepid reception. This is probably why some successful authors advise against showing early versions of your work to your family and friends. No matter how well-intentioned they may be, they simply cannot be objective.
So, it looks like we can’t trust ourselves and we can’t trust our friends. We will never know if we suck or not until it is too late.
Hurry, Arc Angel! We need you!
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